girlFRIEND.

When it comes to times like these, I just want to feel loved sometimes or well, in my case, "liked." Sometimes I feel like things haven't changed, as if we were the best of friends again, we've just changed the title. I want to feel special, I want to feel like I'm his girlfriend, not one of his dudes. I want to be more than that. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate everything he does for me, but there's more to a relationship other than spending. It's about two people having feelings for each other and expressing how they feel to each other. We've talked about this before. I thought I'd handle it fine and just get over it, but I guess not. I feel SO selfish for saying that. It's weird because I don't even know why he wants to be with me, I don't even know what he likes about me. It's sad that I only know the things that he dislikes about me. It sucks sometimes because I try so hard to impress him, and he wouldn't notice. So I mean why even try anymore if it's useless to get my boyfriend's attention. I'd probably have to show more skin for it to work. He tells me that he likes me a lot, but not once have I ever heard him say what it was about me that he liked, minus certain body parts. I'm not trying to sound cocky by asking him to flatter me. I just want our relationship to have some compassion. I wasn't looking for a short hit it and quit it relationship, I want a long serious relationship with him. It's weird because he has so many personalities, it's either really funny or really serious. Sometimes I get tired of joking around too much. I don't like to put an attitude towards him whenever he bugs me, I'd just rather not argue with him for the way he acts. I don't want to change him, but I'm tired of feeling this way sometimes. Maybe I'm just being selfish again. But is it wrong to feel this way? Am I the only one who notices this? I mean, I know with his past relationship this is something she had to deal with, and she got used to it for over 2 years. So am I just being a bitch? It's been almost five months. I'm the type of girl that expresses her feelings, but I can't even tell my own boyfriend in person or even on the phone of how much I like him or what I like about him without feeling weird or awkward. I don't know. But it's whatever, I need to get some fucking sleep.