who's to blame.

Why is it always my fault? 

Why am I always the one to put to blame? 

I don't even remember the last time you 

asked me
to hangout. If you ever do hangout, it's only with Nancy and Nadija. You only invite Nancy and Nadija. So don't tell me I'm ditching you guys if I'm not even invited. You're always with Nancy. I try inviting you to places, but it's always a "I'll think about it" or you just don't want to be in that type of scene. I hate how you always assume I'm with my boyfriend all the time. It's too bad that I'm actually not with him every second of the day as people think I am. Lately I've been home, or work, or hanging out with my friends. He has work and school too that don't fit perfectly with my schedule either. If I am with him, it's probably after work or the weekends. Maybe we're always together because everyone else is with their bf/gf so we're put aside by ourselves. Not only that, but we hangout with the same friends too. So we're bound to always be around each other. I wasn't trying to ditch you guys or anything, it's just that I feel like you guys isolate me.The reason why I'm not always with you guys is because I feel left out half the time. It also doesn't help that we're going to different colleges. I'm sorry I'm not going to Western. I'm sorry I'm not moving in with you guys. Since Western is all you guys ever talk about, I'm always left out of the convo. Maybe if you just ask me to hangout, I would. I try really hard to stay interested in your life, but you're pushing me away. I always try to ask what'g going on at lunch but it always comes off as being nosy. As much as I hate to admit it, but I feel like we've lost the title of best friends. I mean yeah, you and nancy are, but the three of us aren't.

spring break.

Spring break was seriously amazing. DCON, Oregon tour, and hanging out with all my friends. I had so much more fun than I thought I would have. I'll start off with dcon. Everyone there was just so inspiring to me, just knowing how much of an impact key club has made to millions of people in the world makes me so happy. I loved the enthusiasm everyone had, I loved being surrounded by my closest friends, I loved making new friends and getting to know different cultures. Although waking up early was death, I had like 7 hours of sleep the whole weekend. I watched Glee every night with Nancy (: It's sad that this was my last dcon, I'm definitely going to miss it. I'll always be team 20i <3

Now tour.The atmosphere from dcon was totally different. Not even a million words could explain how much I love my choir. I love how we could talk about anything and everything to each other. We went through a 7 hour drive together, sung together, showered together, shopped together, ate together, cried together, laughed together, it was as if we were a family. I love how everyone is always by your side. I know I can always go to them when something is wrong. I love how caring every single person was. I loved opening up to people knowing they wouldn't judge me. I loved getting to know people I never talked to. I loved getting closer, it only made the bond even stronger. I love getting away for a bit with my choir, we always have those "talks" where you can't help but not cry and vent. I'm seriously going to to miss it, miss them. We've been a group since we were freshman, and pretty soon we'll be doing our own thing. Having 7 hours of sleep the whole weekend was worth it, seriously. After leaving town for half of spring break, I actually loved coming home. Not just catching up on sleep, but seeing him too. I told myself I would try to keep him off my mind and focus on other things. I told myself I wouldn't call/text him during the day but only to say goodnight. I needed to "train" myself for the future. I needed to make sure I'm capable of living without him always by my side, and I thought I did pretty good. It was fun going to Applebees and partying (: It always seems to put people in a better mood. Now that break is finally over, back to school. Lame. Hello starbucks tomorrow morning (: Please do me good & keep me awake for school.