crazy weekend.

The past few weekends have been really good lately. On friday night there was dance, and then an after party (; let's just say I got pretty drunk, and let's just say some people said a few things that should of have never been said. Luckily I wasn't one of those people .. just that night. Saturday was like recovery day. We stayed at Jared's house all day, I had the worst cramps. Then Sunday, it was the usual. Church & etc. Later that day I bought Jason's boutonniere. Jason almost put berries on my corsage, haha. Anyways, later that day I went to the drive-in. The movie was good. I stood in line for a chili dog for an hour. Yeah, I was seriously thaaat hungry. Then after the drive-in, there was ANOTHER party (; once again, I got drunk. But this time, I was dumbass. I accidentally texted jeanine " everyone thinks jeanine is pretty but me. " that text was supposed to go to nancy. It's true though. I'll have to admit. And yeah, it does annoy me, a lot. I know it's pretty dumb, but it just makes me feel ugly hearing that, day after day. I guess it's that jealousy. I know it's not her fault, but I just wish some people would think about how other people would feel if they were talking about their best friend and how beautiful she is, and have them just sitting there listening to them admiring her perfection. Yeah, I know she's pretty. I don't need people to tell me that. If you think she's pretty, tell her yourself, not me. Because I could really care less. I guess it just brings down my self-esteem knowing that I'm not as pretty as her. But oh well. I'm just a jealous person. I just had to get that off my chest. I think the funniest part that night was when Jared flipped out and said " WHO THE FUCK ATE MY COCOA KRISPIES ?! " HAHAHHAHA. Damn. Good times. Anyways, so many people barfed the past weekend, not to sound cocky but .. I didn't barf (; HA! lol .. well, I need to take a shower. Bye.

myyy wednesday.

Most of my blogs are usually about something that's bugging me or stuff like that. But I never really write about my daily life. So I guess I'll start now, even though probably no one will read this but me, but oh well. Well, I woke up at 6:18am. Got ready & etc. Got starbucks (; Jason drove me to school today. He asked me why I kept looking at him, I didn't really know why, actually I'm lying, that's just what I said to him, I just think he looks really cute or funny whenever he's driving. I really do appreciate everything he does for me. Even though I may not show it often, I really do. I wish he knew that. I hope he doesn't think I take him for granted. I'm trying to not ask him for stuff like food and all that. I'm trying to be a good girlfriend, but it's hard to know if I'm doing my job right or not. I'm not trying to buy his love, I just want to be fair with it all. Anyways, school was boring as usual. Lunch got very frustrating ... I didn't know we needed our social security numbers for prom. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he was pissed at me. I haven't felt that bad in a long time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I could say I'm sorry millions of times, but I know he'd still be mad because we had to miss class. I tried to let his anger subside. A few hours later after SADD club, he seemed fine. We went to his house. I haven't taken a nap this whole week. Weird. We watched our daily basketball while laying on his bed together. Just laying in his arms feels like home to me. After that, we went to Tokyo Stop. We both ordered #1. Then, I had to get ready for my concert. I was at the school from 530-900pm. Holy Shit. I'm tired now. I hated the song that my choir sang, but whatever. I sang A Whole New World with Jared. My duet song didn't sound as good as I wanted it to, but I can't change that now. I was so nervous ... surprisingly, I got my words right. Nasty&Fluffy told me that guys were whistling at me and Jason got jealous. That was kind of weird hearing that, because he doesn't seem like the person to care. To be honest, I thought that was kinda cute. My best friends got me flowers, I love them, seriously. I don't know what I'd do without them. Well, it's getting late so I'm going to end this. Goodbye !

striving for a dream.

I want to change. I want to have a goal or some sort of dream to strive for. I've never really been the type of person to stick to one thing and work for it. I guess the only dream that I find hard to let go is my passion for music. But when it comes to reality, it's one in a million that dream could come true. Let's think realistic here. It seems to me that my only undeniable option would be something in the hospital department. Even though it's a job, it's not my dream. But if you think about it, choosing what you need seems like the better option rather than choosing what you want. I just want to be something and be happy with it. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking advantage of my laziness and taking the easy way out. I know I could do better, I just choose not to. I want to challenge myself. I want to become a stronger & wiser person. I'm tired of being the disappointment to my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend.