striving for a dream.

I want to change. I want to have a goal or some sort of dream to strive for. I've never really been the type of person to stick to one thing and work for it. I guess the only dream that I find hard to let go is my passion for music. But when it comes to reality, it's one in a million that dream could come true. Let's think realistic here. It seems to me that my only undeniable option would be something in the hospital department. Even though it's a job, it's not my dream. But if you think about it, choosing what you need seems like the better option rather than choosing what you want. I just want to be something and be happy with it. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking advantage of my laziness and taking the easy way out. I know I could do better, I just choose not to. I want to challenge myself. I want to become a stronger & wiser person. I'm tired of being the disappointment to my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend.