amor.

My weekend had it's ups & downs. Overall, it was pretty good, despite the arguments. On Friday, I had school in the morning, then afterwards Jason treated me out to Olive Garden, the food was amazing as usual. Then for dessert, we went to Cold Stone for my first time, it was really yummy (: Afterwards, we headed back home and me, loren, and nicole made our boyfriends chocolate covered strawberries & cookies. On Saturday, I had to go to work in the morning :( I finally left around 8ish and went to Jared's, we just did boy stuff, lame. I went home early that night because everyone else went to a party, I stayed home and did nothing. Me and Jason fought on the phone again. We've been arguing a lot lately, it sucks. The thing is, we never used to argue. If anything, we'd argue like once every 2 weeks, now it's almost every other day. Anyways, now today, Sunday. Valentines Day. It didn't really feel like Valentines Day, minus the fact that all the restaurants were crowded. I guess I'm just so used to hanging out with Jason so much, that it's become a daily routine. I mean, I don't have a problem spending time together, but I think we should probably space this out. We talked about not going out much anymore, because like I said " we've lost that spark, that exciting feeling " It's not that I don't feel happy going places together, it just feels like another day to me. Today was a little different. Jason & I went on a ferry to Port Townsend for lunch, we went to a restaurant called The Public Restaurant? I ordered the Crabwich. I think that had to of been the best crabcake burger I've ever eaten in my life, it was seriously thaaaat good. It was pretty expensive =| ... Jason spent so much money on me this past weekend, I feel bad =/ I really am a selfish person ... I'm just too blind to notice. I don't think I'll be asking him for stuff for awhile ... I really do appreciate all he's done for me this weekend, this was the first time a guy has ever taken me out on Valentine's Day. I've never really had a real Valentine until today. I'm going to make it up to him for sure, he deserves it. He's really the nicest boyfriend I've ever had, I'm really lucky to have him (: Spending time with him today meant a lot to me. I mean, isn't that the truuue meaning of Valentines Day? Appreciate the one you love. I tried to be the best girlfriend as I could be today, hopefully I didn't screw up this time. I hope he knows that I love him soooo much. 

it's hard to explain.

I feel like we don't have that connection anymore, the way we used to. We haven't exactly changed really, besides the fact that we're more comfortable around each other. I guess we're just growing up. We're so busy with other priorities that we barely even find time for ourselves. I mean yeah we hangout almost everyday, but it's  just not the same anymore. I guess it's our own fault why we can't have our secret hiding spot anymore, but still .. even if we're on the phone, it's silent most of the time. I miss talking for hours, like deep conversations. I don't even remember the last time we've had one of those. I suppose that spark is gone? We're at that point where you're so used to being with each other so long that the lust has faded. I miss it. It's not that we don't love each other anymore, it's just that it's not much of a surprise anymore. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but I know it's natural. It happens to almost everyone. I just wish it hadn't come so soon. I miss those "first" moments. I'm probably just overreacting right now. I don't know. I feel frustrated. I don't exactly know why. I really am happy & deeply in love with him, I just want our relationship to grow into something bigger, something unexpected. Surprise me. 

goodbye good mood ..

I've found myself pretty stressed lately. I hate it when I start off with a good day, then someone just happens to ruin it, then slowly as the day goes on , people just keep on making it worse. I hate it when I have 100 things to do at once in 1 hour. I hate how I ask such little things, yet nobody does them. I hate not eating for 11 hours. I hate how people yell at me for something I didn't do. I just really dislike Cupid's Song right now.. I think I've spent the last 4 months planning this thing, and the least my OWN choir can do is help out. It's my last year to do this, and I'm already about to hang myself. I'm dreading tomorrow. Yet, very scared. I hope I do well =/

Enough with that..

I'M GOING TO A PARAMORE & RELIENT K. CONCERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm soooooo excited, they're my favorite bands. I'm watching it with Nancy and Jeanine... at least I think I am? Things have been pretty frustrating though. It's bugging me. I'm trying not to let it get to me though. I just feel like I've been getting treated rudely. If that's even a word? Sometimes I feel like I'm always the one to blame.. even if I didn't do something. The thing that makes me more upset is how they could do the same thing back and it's totally fine. I just don't make that big of a deal of it. 

I just want some ribs, honestly... and a strawberry milkshake. That just might be best thing that could happen to me all week. Well I'm going to bed now, night.