idkwtd.

"The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore" - James Morrison

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit here anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

brutality.

i've been wanting to blog for soooo long and now i finally have the time. so much has happened this month, it's crazy. we had our annual camping trip a few weeks ago, it was fun ... until it got busted. me, loren, nicole, and brylle got arrested for an MIP and it just went downhill from there. that was probably the most scariest thing that's ever happened to me.

this whole summer has just been pretty weird. things just haven't been the same.. i just miss the way things used to be... but i know it will never be the same again. but that's how life is, you let go & move on. i miss my best friend. i don't know how we fell apart so quickly. i keep saying it's you, not me but i think i was just telling myself that so that i wouldn't feel like the bad guy. but now i can honestly say it's a two way street, nobody has honestly tried to fix things. i don't even know what we're even trying to fix, that's the confusing part. a part of me wants to man up and just say something but i feel like even if i did tell you how i feel, it wouldn't change anything. i'm tired of playing the blame game, i just want to hangout and not feel awkward. i want to have a real conversation. there are things people have told me about you that i didn't even know... i just thought i'd be the first person you'd tell. it just hurts to know that after the 4 years we've known each other, you'd rather tell the girl you knew for 6 months. regardless of whatever you may have done, out of everyone i thought i'd be the most understanding. if you were me 3 years ago, i know damn well that you wouldn't be able to put up with the bullshit you and nancy gave me when i had a boyfriend. but of course i have no say in what you do now so if that's what makes you happy, i don't want to ruin it for you.

on a better note, we finally got our apartment :) i'm the only that's basically moved in since i had summer school. my room is slowly coming together. i can't wait til we're all settled in, it's going to look beautiful. i hope the roommate situation works out, i know there will be a few arguments here and there but i just hope we're all mature enough to just get over it lol. living together is like having a sleepover every night, i can't waaaait :) this is random but i went to a sounders match with my boyfriend and best friends a few weeks ago and it was pretty fuuuun. & I SAW NATE ROBINSON AND JAMAL CRAWFORD at a pro-am game, just saying.

btw, summer school blows; never doing it again.

taco doritos.

- this summer sucks, literally. i haven't done shit... the coolest thing i've done was probably go to the donut house.

- i'm mad that all my friends ever do is blaze.

- i hope it stays sunny the rest of the summer.

- school sucks. i'm busting my ass off and i'm still not understanding all the material. i can't waaaait til school is over.

- mon-thurs are the worst days for me because i'm stuck at the apartment with no internet/cable/friends

- i'm so dumb for procrastinating last minute and moving my shit out of my apartment the last week we have it =/

- i can't wait to move into my new apartment :)

- i can't wait for the annual camping trip this thursday!

- i'm home alone for a couple days while my parents are in texas, but on the plus side; i get to sleep in their big comfy bed :)

- taco flavored doritos are so GOOD :)

happy birthday amuuurica!

after i'm done writing this blog, i need to sleeeeep. i'm pretty tired, i went to bed at 5 a.m last night because me being a procrastinator, i didn't start packing and doing errands til last minute x] i had about 5 hours of sleep last night ... yet i'm still awake, wtf?! anywaaaays, my day went well :) i had coffee with abs in the morn and then i hungout with nancy & her little sister at the carnival all day, then fireworks with my bufu. i don't wanna go to school tomorrow :( i might not even get into the class since i'm on the waiting list, but i guess i'm just gonna have to find out tomorrow. well, that's it ... HERE'S MY NEW HAT! i've been wanting one of these for so long.

random.

It's been awhile since I last blogged so I thought I'd update since I can't fall asleep. Welllll, it's been about 2 weeks since my summer has started & sad to say, it's been kinda lame. I mean I'm glad I'm not studying anymore but I haven't been making my break time worth the while. I've been wanting to go out and do something fun but most of my friends are lame and don't do anything crazy. Plus, we're all broke college students so that makes it twice as bad. FML. I start summer quarter next week, not stoked ... but I gotta do what needs to be done to make the muns, lol. I miss having a job, I wanna go shopping :( Although, I am veeery thankful my parents aren't making me get a job & paying for my school & etc. I hope I'll still be able to enjoy my summer even though I have class =/ I'm gonna be staying with Abby, Des, and Nancy for the next few months :) I can't wait till me, nancy, and nads move in together !!! :) I'm hoping the housing stuff will all work out. Next year is gonna be so different. New apartment, room mates, long distance relationship, etc. It's a bittersweet feeling, hopefully I'll still see my boys often... and hopefully I'll have more friends. Last year was boring ... it wasn't anything new. I want to experience new things this upcoming year. I'm the last person to ever want change but I think this will be really good for me. Although not being able to see him often makes sad but when I do get to see him, it'll be ten times better, we need some space. If we can get through this, I think it'll bring us closer, that's what I'm hoping for at least. Well it's getting late ..... until next time :)

"if it's meant to be, it'll all work out in the end" - one tree hill

Once again, I'm back in Oak Harbor for the weekend since it's Easter :) Sooo, I think I had thee most stressful month by far this year. I'm not going to get into details because I don't feel like bringing up all the things that upset me the past few weeks buuuuut God answered my prayers <3 I truly believe that God has the perfect plan for me. Despite the ups and downs, God always works things out in the end. Whether or not I like the change, I know there's always a reason behind it. I don't know what I'd do without Him in my life :)

I decided to make a separate paragraph because I didn't want to get mixed up with God and Jason because I'm going to be saying him, and the him I'm referring to in this paragraph is my boyfriend. I've had this blog for awhile now and when we first started dating I made this countdown sort of thing of all the days we've been together because I'm weird like that and today will be the 777th day we've been together, weird number haha. From day one we were both never perfect people, we've dealt with each others faults and grew to understand each other more. Till this day our relationship is still growing, I know things can get out of hand sometimes but somehow we still manage to make it through together. I honestly can't imagine myself without him. There are times where I get so frustrated and end up saying things I don't mean but in the end, he's the only one I only want to be with. He's one of the most amazing guys I've ever got to know in my life. No matter where life takes us, he'll always be a part of who I am. That's how much he's grown on me, I love him enough to say that losing him would be like losing a part of myself. Being with him has been one crazy ride but the feeling is so worth it. I wouldn't give it up for the world :)

lalalala.

Since I'm super bored, I'm just going to blog. Well, to start my day off ... I had to wake up early unfortunately because I had my psych class today =/ I waaaas going to skip class, but I already missed the last two days so I decided to go this time. When I got there my teacher wasn't there, the class waited for like 15 minutes then everybody dipped. I'm pretty pissed, I got up for no reason AND I had to walk home in the rain, FML. Ha anyways uhm ... I made baked alfredo pasta & nutella croissants for lunch :) it was delicious btw. Since I don't have anything to do today I guess I'll clean my room before I get ready for my best friends birthday dinner at Olive Garden, even more yummy. I'm stoked haha. I'm going to have a sleepover with my girls :) I love sleepovers. I need a break away from my boys ha. Well ... I'm going to do those things I said I'd do. Bye :)

new years resolutions of 2011.

I know this is a little late but ... oh well! Okay, since I'm horrible at making new years resolutions, actually no. Since I'm horrible at sticking to my new years resolutions, I'm not not even going to bother adding "lose weight" to my list hahaha, if it happens, it happens. Losing weight is something that should be important all the time, not just because it's a new year. So here's my list LAST year.
- graduate
- get license/car
- trip to canada
- go on a summer vacation somewhere 

- get another job
- lose the double chin. HAHAHA
- benchpress 90 lbs
- eat space cakes
- get at least one scholarship
- keep contact w/ nasty&fluffy when college comes
- stay together w/ jason
- go to the cheesecake factory&red lobster w/ jason

Well, most of my resolutions I achieved. Then again, they weren't that complicating to do. They were more like things I wanted to do rather than things I should change. Anyways, my new resolutions for 2011 will be .... 

- Pass all of my classes with a C or better

- Read at least 2 books

- Spend my money more wisely

- Keep contact with family & best friends

- Stay together with Jason

- Try new foods
- Cook more

- Gossip less

- I'll add more later