Last night has been the worst night for us so far. First fights always seem to be the hardest to overcome because it's our first time dealing with this together, trying to figure things out to make things better for the both of us. I hate how I can never explain things right, I hate how my reasons don't matter, I hate how you think I still have feelings for my ex, I hate how I like you so much but you can't see how much I do, and I hate how you don't believe in me. I have deep feelings for you, and it even scares me sometimes of how fast I'm falling for you. If I didn't like you so much, then I wouldn't always be worrying about you all the time & I wouldn't be thinking about you all the time & I wouldn't be with you everyday & I wouldn't be scared of you leaving me & I wouldn't be talking about you to my friends & I wouldn't be writing your name all over my papers, and if I were to still have feelings for my ex, I'd be with him and not you. That's the difference, I want to be with you & only you, not him. I want to spend everyday with you, because you make me happy. I want to do the same for you, I want make you smile & laugh, like you do to me. I know how I feel, and I have complete feelings for you, you may not believe that, but I do. You know I wouldn't be with someone if I liked someone else at the same time. Just because I talk to him, that doesn't mean I have feelings for him. Just because those pictures are still there, it doesn't mean those feelings are still there. I swear on my life that there are no remaining feelings for him. Jason, I like you so much. You make it so easy for me to like you, everyday you make me feel like the luckiest girl just being with you. Everyday I like you more & more. I want to keep this feeling that you give me. I would never want to hurt you. I hate how you didn't think I was sorry last night. If I wasn't sorry, then I wouldn't have cried the minute after I hung up the phone the first time. Then I wouldn't have been listening to Mad by Ne-Yo on repeat for about an hour or more .. just hoping & waiting you'd call and tell me that things were going to be okay. I couldn't sleep knowing you were mad at me, and knowing we weren't okay, the pain just kept lingering inside .. until you texted me. I was kinda glad you were still awake so that just maybe I can try to make things right, but unfortunately my words just didn't seem to come out right. You asked me what I wanted, and what I want is for you to know I like you a lot, and I want you to trust that my heart is completely yours, and I want you to know those pictures don't matter anymore; nor does he, and I want you to know that I'm really sorry for last night, and I want you to know that I will try my hardest to prove you wrong, and I want you to believe in me, and I want for us to not feel the way we did last night again. I know we're bound to argue again sometime, but at least I can learn from this. I'm glad that we're okay now, hopefully it'll stay this way for awhile.
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