" i wanna love you better "

" Baby it breaks my heart
To think that loving me is not easy to do
And I don't mean to make it hard
Sorry for all the changes I put you through
And it's hard to believe
After everything you're still here right beside me
Wouldn't trade you for this whole world
Thankful just being your girl "

We've been arguing for the past week, it's becoming a habit now. The sad thing is that its mostly my fault, actually I lied. It's all my fault. I need to change. I can't just let this slip away like I did in the past, I need to do something for once. Not just for the sake of our relationship, but for him. I can't give up on us, on him. I need to get out of my old habits and start thinking about someone else rather than myself. I've been really selfish lately, and I hate myself for the way I've been treating him. I've reached to the point where he's starting to blame himself for my mistakes. I can honestly say "It's not you, it's me." He puts so much effort into this relationship and gives his all, but I give nothing back. I know he'd never believe this if I told this to him, but he's the most amazing guy that I've ever been with, each day I fall more in love with him. A million words couldn't describe how happy he makes me. I wish I could do the same for him, I wish I could make him as happy as he makes me. I'm really starting to hate myself. I'm contemplating on whether or not to just let this go. That's never been my option, but I can't keep hurting him like this. I don't know what to do make this better. I've never been in a situation, or relationship like this before. I'm so lost ... and scared. I'm so used to running away from my troubles, but now I need to face them. I really want to be a better girlfriend, but what if I fail? I can't let him down. I'm scared of losing him. I love him too much to let him go. God please help me?